Happy to Help

Since I’ve been in nursing school I’ve had a lot of people ask me for health advice.  Unfortunately I often find that I’m more of a disappointment than a help.  There’s still a lot I don’t know and people have all kinds of issues.  I do know a few things I’m willing to share.  They’re a bit random and you probably already know most of them but now you can’t say I never offered to help.

When you’ve been exposed to someone with a cold or the flu –

Take a shot of vodka or brandy, swish and gargle before you swallow (I’m serious), do this as soon as you get home and again for the next couple of days

Unpleasant foot odor –

Maalox soak: you’ll need Maalox and two pairs of thick socks, soak one pair of socks in the Maalox then put them on your feet, cover with the other pair and let them soak for an hour.

Dry, cracked heels –

Vixx Vapo-Rub dip: slather both feet in Vixx salve, cover with socks, wait an hour

Take ibuprofen for pain but NOT on an empty stomach (causes GI bleed, which may sound innocent but is foul-foul-foul). Oh, and pain followed by vomiting is usually a bad thing and worth a trip to the ER.

Don’t get tricked into taking antibiotics for the flu.  However, do take them for strep throat and take the entire dose.  Antibiotics misuse is how you get MRSA (pronounced mersa).

Calcium is great but won’t do you any good without vitamin D

Most prescribed medications have some food contraindications, grapefruit, licorice and green tea are common culprits; always ask or look them up.

Supplying all this healthcare advice has got me thinking about writing my own How To books.  Here’s a brief list of How To books I’d like to write.  Some I might be qualified to do others not so much.

How to use the self-check-out line (qualified)

How to make churros (not so much but give me a year)

How to use your automobile’s signal light (qualified)

How to drive a getaway car (uh, qualified)

How to incorporate caramel into your day (done)

That’s all I’ve got, folks.