Rehab

I’ve decided not to go.  I acknowledge that I have a problem but I don’t think rehab is going to fix the situation.  Wait, let me back up.  Hi, my name is Heather and I’m a shopaholic (perhaps I should have led with that). 

It’s difficult not to want to buy myself things after putting in a week’s worth of long hours and hard work.  I feel like I deserve it.  As I become more of an adult (although I’m kicking and screaming as I do) I’m learning that some things are worth waiting for.  Some things are worth the sacrifice of a gluttonous Friday night or a sweet pair of distressed camel, buckled, riding boots (no, these are different from the ones I just bought).  I understand that if I could refrain from the weekly shopping urge I could probably save up enough money to buy: the iPad I keep yacking about, a sqeezebox with speakers (I like to play my music loud), or maybe even something really adult like a house. 

I’m sure all you well-behaved adults have been hip to this concept for some time now and are probably wondering what my problem is.  My problem is this: I’m not very patient when it comes to getting what I want; at times I’m quite selfish; I do not like it when the universe tells me “no”; also, I like pretty things. 

So, perhaps it’s time to grow up.  Time to deal with money like the responsible adult I’ve been groomed to be (ha, ha – snort).  Maybe that’s all rehab is really: accepting your shortcomings; growing up; doing the responsible thing. 

I should put this stuff in a book, get a book deal, then a TV show called Healthy and Happy with Nurse Heather, then make personal appearances at colleges and self-help seminars.  Oh, barf, you know I can’t stand that shit; I just needed to make this light-hearted again.